The coolest thing to happen to SOMA in a LONG time

Being an Alchemist in the 14th century was actually pretty daunting: you had to discover a means for everlasting life, transmute base metals into gold, and, worst of all, hang out with Zosimos of Panopolis. For a bar taking a less-daunting approach to that age-old profession, check out Alchemist Bar & Lounge in SOMA

From a former Gitane GM and his Bro Bro Bro Merry Christmas, this industrially charged upstairs 150-seater has all the makings of an awesome Super Mario level: there's a matrix of gold-painted exposed pipes, drink rails fashioned out of metal gears, and red damask wallpaper (Mario's really into damask). Also: metal pirate ships

Even the downstairs entrance is awesome, with an old-timey writing desk, a giant iron chandelier, and mildly creepy music coming from a digital phonograph

Speaking of mildly creepy, they'll be projecting movies like this one on the walls. This is the bar

And this is one of 10 cocktails developed by alums from Burritt Room, Tipsy Pig, Comstock Saloon, and Local Edition. Must-gets include the Stop Fenneling Me (Right gin, manzanilla, falernum, fennel bitters), and this honey-and-gin Beez Nuts, or what Betty regularly threatened to tea-bag Blanche with

Oh, and in case you get hungry while playing shuffleboard (!!), they've got an assortment of bar snacks provided by the downstairs Root and the possibility of after-11p rotating weekend eats including Korean-Chinese-Japanese street food from the Gung Ho dude.