Chicago has plenty of secrets (though, Al Capone's vault is no longer one of them -- thanks Geraldo!), but disappointingly, not a lot of ones that involve 14 off-menu burgers, fries, and shakes. In fact, there's just one, and it belongs to Chicago mini-chain M Burger, where the secret menu is more than double the length of the regular one. Here's every single item on it:
Photos by Sean Cooley
THE SECRET BURGERS
No way is that a burger with buns made of grilled chee-- good God, that's a burger with buns made of grilled cheese. The Roman-Style is named after a dude (named Roman!) who invented it during a lunch break at the original Mag Mile location.
Adult Grilled Cheese
Say you're not up for eating an entire double-bacon cheeseburger with grilled cheeses for buns (hypothetically), you can instead opt for this suped-up grilled cheese with fresh avocado and tomato.
All of your favorite edible animals are represented with a beef patty, chicken breast, bacon, and turkey topped with lettuce, pickles, American cheese, onions, and secret sauce (yes, more secrets).
It's a Barnyard Burger, just with TWO of every type of meat.
Big O Style
While we respect the swagger of HoF Bucks guard Oscar Robertson, he has nothing to do with this sandwich. Big O Style here gets you grilled onions added to any burger.
Turkey Old Fashioned/Chicken Mikey
You'll order the simple, old fashioned burger one of two ways: with turkey (Turkey Old Fashioned) or with chicken. If you wanna go the chicken route, you'll ask for the Chicken Mikey, named to the secret menu after a customer put in orders of 15 at a time to stockpile them at home.
What's the best way to improve a vegetarian sandwich? Add beef. That's what Dr. Betty prescribes, anyway! This one's a 3oz patty added to the already-appetizing Nurse Betty (tomato, avocado, pepper Jack).
What's the best-est way to improve a vegetarian sandwich? Add bacon. The hypocrisy continues, just this time with chopped spicy peppercorn bacon topping the salad-centric burger.
Fowl Mouth/Chicken Hurt
There are two alarmingly hot variations on the Hurt Burger: the Fowl Mouth is the turkey variation, and Chicken Hurt the chicken one. Both come with house BBQ sauce and pepper Jack cheese, and both can be taken to a third degree of hurt with double the BBQ sauce and jalapeños, or the rumored 10th degree of hurt with some insanely hot hot sauce.
Replace any burger's white bread buns with an iceberg lettuce papoose.
M Turkey/M Chicken
Swap beef for birds in their signature cheeseburger with bacon and secret sauce.
THE SECRET NOT-BURGERS
Upgrade your side of fries with a green chili-cheese sauce, roasted poblanos, jalapeños, and BBQ sauce for dipping.
On the posted menu, you'll find desserts like sundaes, floats, and shakes in the standard vanilla/chocolate/strawberry flavors. On the secret
menu, you can get an espresso shake with a double shot of Intelligentsia Black Cat, or ask what's in their current monthly rotation... like the Grasshopper with mint cookies and cream, or a Nutella shake.
Sean Cooley is Thrillist's Chicago Editor, and he's noticed that a pie tin is a handy pie chart for how much pie you've eaten. Follow him @SeanCooley.