Eat Everything good, dipped in chocolate

There're very few things that legitimately everybody loves, and just when they finally agree on that one TV character, Jerry Orbach goes and dies on you. Because everybody loves chocolate: Everybody Luvs Chocolate.

From a native-born former Chicago Bear/Arena League place kicker, ELC's an adventurous new confectionery, spawned from a successful chocolate-trailer run at fairs, which's finally settled down in a dark wood lined/stone accented Bird Rock spot to dip almost anything in premium Belgian chocolate spiced up with a secret aphrodisiac, though not an afro-disiac, as no one wants to have to pick stuff out of their teeth. Their specialty's basically monstrous sticks of dessert shish kabob, including Dulce de Leche with two snickerdoodles sandwiched between caramel (and, of course, dipped/drizzled), the marshmallows/bananas/strawberries "Dippitydoodah", and the "Sweet Goliath" with Oreos, bananas, marshmallows, and a Twinkie, which're said to survive indefinitely, unlike the eater of a Sweet Goliath. Smaller fatness includes sweet/savory milk chocolate-enrobed bacon, NY-style Cheesecake Factory cheesecake plunged & topped to your gluttonous specs, triple-dipped Mrs. Fields cookies (chocolate chip, PB, and white macadamia), lone piked Oreos/Twinkies, and doubled-up "pretzel rods" dipped 'n topped with everything from peanuts to "white drizzle", which, thanks to Snoop, suburban middle schools are now full of.

Because health is paramount, they're also choco-drenching fresh fruit (from strawberries to pineapples), and hawking apples (ranging from the dressy white/milk chocolate, faux-tuxedo'd "Groom" to the classic plain caramel) of which there are 150 different options -- approximately the same number as there are Law & Orders, though what does it matter if the grouchy dad from Dirty Dancing isn't there to old-mannishly bust heads?