Brawn The Terroirs dudes up the ante

Those who become victims of their own success do have options -- for instance, all Cheryl Cole ever wanted was to be treated like an ordinary girl, so she found a husband who'd oblige her. For a couple of guys taking charge of successful lives, hit Brawn, just opened.

After the runaway success of their wine bar Terroirs, Brawn's owners found themselves spending too much time managing a growing staff, and precious little engaging with customers, prompting this more intimate, laid-back canteen, serving similar Western-European grub, plus a range of bio-dynamic vinos whose selection's guided by a "wine horoscope", though all you really care about is drinking like a Pisces. The daily-changing menu starts with "Taste Ticklers" like river oysters, spiced lamb crépinettes (like a small sausage), and Cantabrian anchovies, which you can drop into your mouth by their Tales. Meanwhile, the Plancha (grilled) section sports fishiness like Scottish langoustines and monkfish cheeks w/ Romesco salsa, while the Pig category slices and grinds barnyard friends into Lardo di Colonnata (backfat cured with rosemary & spices) and the salami-like Jésus du Pays Basque, which is odd, because no one really knows Christ's ETA.

Finally, there's a "Slow Cooked" column featuring the likes of venison ragù w/ pappardelle, wild rabbit w/ chard & pearl barley broth, and Tête de Veau -- 3 Words that translate to "calf's head", and'll have you screaming like a Girls Aloud.