The heifers served in Red Cow probably wouldn't be so embarrassed if they knew that they'd one day be eaten in a stylishly industrial comfort-food haven helmed by a former partner in Blue Plate Restaurant Company (think The Lowry) who was also a member of Bobby Labonte's pit crew.
The space is a shuttered Blockbuster, so they held the interior build-out to high standards to make up for clearing out rows of Jay Mohr rom-coms.
They put an equal emphasis on crafty wines and suds, with tap towers flanked by C)2-charged tap wine coolers.
Just to confuse you, this cow ISN'T TECHNICALLY EVEN RED.
Their version of bar popcorn bathes Old Dutch puffcorn in a light caramel batter and tosses it with chopped bacon.
Deviled eggs are sooo 2012... Scotch eggs are the new hot thing, and have been seen holding hands with John Mayer all around Hollywood.
These Beer Mussels swim in a broth of Fulton Sweet Child & blue cheese.
Their fifteen burgers (which range from bison to lamb to duck) include the Manchego/ prosciutto/ piquilllo/ smoked aioli Barcelona, which you'll pronounce with a lisp, but only because your mouth is full of delicious burger.
And just when you can't have any more ground meat...
Dig deep, because even the pastries are full of elk!
Just your average salmon burger topped with white truffle aioli.
After fifteen hamburgers, you'll want to move to sandwiches, which are different, and include this pork belly banh mi.
This blue cheese-lathered hoagie is called the Buffalo Shrimp; AKA The Steve Tasker.
This Deschutes Mirror Pond APA represents 1/36th of their beer selection, which also features locals like Lucid Foto and Harriet's West Side.
And they've got 32 wines by the glass shootin' out dem spouts.
Little known fact: Bollinger's been featured in like every other Bond flick. Even littler known fact: The dude who owns Red Cow loves Bond, which's why the capstone of the menu is The 007, a bottle of Bollinger and any two burgers for just $195! So yeah, prepare to see Red.