Candy, pizza, bacon & BBQ, now in salad form

Slaters 50-50 Cheeseburger Salad

As Abraham Lincoln once said, "Salads: man, do they suck." And he, of course, was being quite honest. But in the many scores of years since his passing, some of the culinary world's most devious thinkers have managed to undermine even the timeless bed-of-lettuce scourge. Their moves range from removing the leaves altogether, to obscuring them with bacon, to involving many, many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Enjoy. Seriously -- do whatever it takes to get/make these things, and enjoy them immediately

The Best Wedge EverYou know and love the wedge, but you'll know and love it even harder if you have this version created by NYC steakhouse Desmond's, which loads half a head up with award-winning Berkshire blue cheese dressing, very literal fistfuls of applewood bacon, roasted tomatoes, and toasted walnuts

Deep-Fried SaladIf they can do it to Snickers, they can do it to salad. This smart person created the Deep-Fried Salad, and it's bursting with lettuce, cukes, beets, and... fried-ness.

Pizza Persona's Pizza SaladPizza Persona in Chicago will take your lame salad and make it beautiful by dumping it into a bowl made of pizza, which begs the question: why aren't all bowls made out of pizza? (Note: that question is doubly troubling for stoners.

Epic Meal Time's Meat SaladMeat on meat on meat. The dudes from Epic Meal Time created what may be the ultimate carnivorous salad, so if you haven't seen this one yet/tried it at home, do both now

Buzzfeed's Candy SaladAmongst all these totally bonkers salads, Buzzfeed's Candy Salad is the only one on the list that could have actual Bonkers in it

Fish Bar's Bacon & Egg Salad with Tater TotsThis one could even fool fat kids. Fish Bar in Chi-town's Bacon & Egg salad, loads tots onto what's basically a totally deadly version of frisee aux lardons with apple-smoked bacon and a soft-boiled egg. And those tots

Pok Pok's Da Chom Laap Meuang SaladPhoto by Brooklyn ExposedNY and PDX's Pok Pok does a "salad" that's actually pretty much entirely ground pork. It's called the Da Chom Laap Meuang, and it's also sprinkled with cracklings, herbs, spices, garlic, and crispy fried shallots

Bird of Smithfield's Pork Cheek & Cracklings SaladYes, this bad boy from Bird of Smithfield in London has pork cheeks with cracklings and bacon -- but look, it's also got flowers. Salad. Done

Cheeseburger SaladSlater's 50/50If you thought you couldn't make a salad out of a cheeseburger, you'd be wrong

Hot Dog SaladDon't worry, tubesteak fans: you're covered as well

Fatty Crab's Pork Belly Fruit SaladFruit salad must be repped as well, and NY's Fatty Crab does a great job with pickled watermelon, sweet ginger, and big old bits of crispy pork belly

Taco Bell's Fiesta Taco SaladWe're not even technically counting this one. But just THINK about if Taco Bell made this with a Cool Ranch shell. Seriously, please steal that idea, Taco Bell.

Desmond's Wedge
Deep fried salad
Pizza Salad
Buzzfeed's Candy Salad
Tater tot salad
Pok Pok ground pork salad
bacon and flower salad
Cheeseburger Salad
Hot dog salad
Fatty Crab watermelon pork belly salad
Taco Bell salad