Earlier this week, the candy community mourned the passing of Hans Riegel, the Haribo mastermind who made the gummy bear empire what it is today. In honor of Riegel's many contributions to the confectionery world, we combed the Haribo archives for some of the craziest and most enviable gummies that aren't available to us Yankees.
Turns out that while we're chewing on gold bears over here -- like peasants! -- our European brethren are noshing on fried eggs, vampires, and habanero-flavored treats. Thanks for nothing, George Washington! Check out the exclusive Euro stuff we're missing below.
It's the most popular Haribo bag in the UK, and is available in Europe, but you won't find this eclectic mix in the States. Despite the rocket ship on the packaging, the gummies aren't comet- or chest-bursting-alien-shaped. Instead, the Starmix has ring, heart, cola bottle, bear, and -- best of all -- fried egg candies. Sadly, they don't taste like real fried eggs, because some dreams will never come true.
Fizzicles are basically like Sour Patch Kids, except you don't have to feel weird about eating a tiny green gummy child. These guys are sports-themed instead -- as you can see from the Haribo bear's questionable badminton game -- so it's bikes and boxing gloves that'll make you pucker, instead of little Timmy.
Perfect for your buddy who takes Talk Like a Pirate Day way too seriously, this German variety features licorice "coins" presumably plundered from a haunted, sunken chest of booty ('cause they're apparently mad salty.) Some of the stuff featured on the doubloons include guns, skulls, swords, and cannons. Also, they're "adults only", so the Germans are just as weird as you suspected.
Another pick from Deutschland that's more kid-friendly, these Halloween-themed gummies feature orange, strawberry, and raspberry bats, making them the ultimate fruit bats. Nice try, Chicago folk band and actual animals.
The French are apparently so into Orangina that they got a gummy version of it, bottom-heavy bottle shapes and all. Between this and the Haribo cola bottles that are basically everywhere (even America!), Mountain Dew must be taking the slight pretty personally.
These German "hot sticks" might not have crazy shapes or an exciting name, but they do have some serious kick. The spicy flavor mash-ups include raspberry-jalapeno and habanero-orange, plus lemon-ginger for some reason (palate cleanser?), so only try 'em if you can handle the Haribo heat.
These candies boast all the strawberry, banana, and vanilla shake action of a diner malt in a tiny gelatin treat. And they're only in the UK. Screw you, Britain. We still haven't forgiven you for the Revolutionary War, and now this?!
Calm down -- these aren't actually wine gushers. But they are meant to kinda sorta echo the flavors for kids who already see a home wine cellar in their future. Hilariously, one shop worker didn't get that memo and chased down a 15yr-old who tried to buy them in Cambridgeshire.
We're not sure what the factory conditions are like for Haribo Spain and Haribo Turkey, but based on these "teeth" candies, they might wanna look into a possible gas leak.