News alert from 10yrs ago: we don't really care about pictures of your poolside feet paired with whatever you ate poolside. That's why you should totally follow these game-changers, whose Twitter-food prowess ranges from cautionary tales to actual food porn. Minus the feet... unless you're Quentin Tarantino, in which case, subscribe to @umathurmansfeetwithasandwich right now.
The Tweeter: David Chang (@davidchang)
Momofuku mastermind; purveyor of deliciousness; early adopter.
"I no longer believe in blanching vegetables. Blanching is stupid. There I said it."
Big Gay Ice Cream
The Tweeter: Big Gay Ice Cream(@biggayicecream)
Manned by Cooking Channel talking heads, this sassy ice cream truck-turned-parlor specializes in off-the-wall flavors of deliciousness, as well as bizarro Twitpics that you should follow both for said pics and location (the truck tours all over the place).
"I worship @_FloridaMan and his love of prescription painkillers, naked golf-cart rides, and blackout Robitussin chugging!"
Real Carrot Facts
The Tweeter: Real Carrot Facts (@RealCarrotFacts)
The world's most intelligent vegetable, who drops science on why you should eat him, carrot history, and more.
"Benjamin Franklin did not invent the carrot, but he was fat and balding. (History)"
The Tweeter: The Beer Wench (@TheBeerWench)
An extreme craft-beer aficionado who also happens to be a hot chick who loves sports. Plus, we think
that's actually a picture of her?
"Wings + leftover pizza + IPA + football = my night ;)"
The Tweeter: Coffee Dad (@coffee_dad)
Just a good old-fashioned guy who loves coffee, and tells you daily when he's making it, sans any details or appropriate use of hashtags. He's also totally real.
"drinking# some coffee#"
The Tweeter: Drunk Hulk (@DRUNKHULK)
Apparently, whiskey makes Bruce Banner angry. Hulk may not write much about food and drink, but Hulk has already definitely indulged... as evidenced by a permanent caps lock and not-great grammar. Not to be confused with Jaded Punk Hulk
"SIR MIX-A-LOT TURN 50 TODAY! DRUNK HULK WORRY IF HE NOT MAKE NEW ALBUM SOON! THEY TAKE AWAY HIS KNIGHTHOOD!"
The Tweeter: Food Porn (@FoodPorn)
A feed dedicated to Twitpics of sexy food, then either sexualizing it or philosophizing on it.
"Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So technically, pancakes are more important than family"
The Tweeter: Eddie Huang (@MrEddieHuang)
Bauhaus restaurateur, Fresh Off the Boat
author, TV personality, culture-shock observer.
"AHHH F*** U CHINA! I GOT A (virtual private network) NOW! Im like NWA bussin' thru the great fire wall right now" (In reference to tweeting from the heavily internet-censored China.)
The Tweeter: Neil Hamburger (@neilhamburger)
"America's $1 Funnyman", owner of the world's greatest grimace, and supporter of every chain restaurant he experiences on the road.
(In reference to Applebees): "As in 'mmmmy God! My stomach is ulcerating! Get me to an emmmmergency room! @Applebees: Things that make you go mmmm"