Fat Kid Fridays, August 23rd Edition: This week's most ridiculous eats, ranked by calorie content

Bloody Mary ribs at Kings Wine Bar
Drew Wood
Drew Wood

Friday is here, and that means the sweet release of the weekend, the moment when your work-week obligations are over and you can breathe deeply, knowing that a full weekend of drinking, eating, sleep, and some softcore [redacted] awaits you. While we can't really help you with that [redacted] habit of yours, we've practically got PhDs in the eating bit, so here are the six craziest things we ate all week, from a shake that's got bacon in it, to a cornbread waffle sandwich, to... frog?

Deep-fried frog legs
Chris Watkins

6. Deep-Fried Frog Legs
Folk Art, Atlanta
Approximate Calorie Count: 492. And they taste like chicken?shrimp? frog.
Battered, deep-fried, pickle-brined frog legs. Because wings have been done, regular frog legs are too, um, French, and pickles have no risk of jumping away from you (booooo-ringggggg). It's a dish so Southern, you'll finish it and return to the swamp you came from immediately speak with a twang.
Their Southern fried chicken & biscuits might be the sexiest brunch you see all year...

Cupcake ice cream sandwich
Aaron Miller

5. Ice Cream Sundae on a Cupcake Bun
Sprinkles Ice Cream, Dallas
Approximate Calorie Count: 505. And you can eat it even if you're on a "bread-free" diet!
From the place that also has A CUPCAKE ATM, this sandwich is just like your average sandwich, except that instead of meat and veggies, it has ice cream, and instead of bread (or even cookies!), it has a cupcake that has been split in half. Flavor choices for ice cream and cupcake are up to you, but mind-blown-ness is mandatory and inevitable.
They recommend that you eat it in a bowl, because this thing can get messy...

Bloody Mary ribs at Kings Wine Bar
Drew Wood

4. Bloody Mary Ribs
Kings Wine Bar, Minneapolis
Approximate Calorie Count: 579. Probably healthier than just dipping ribs into your Bloody...
Chef Andrew Kraft (not THAT Kraft... although that would be awesome) has turned the meaty Bloody Mary trend on its head, inverting it into ribs that are braised, cut into individual bones, fried on pick-up, and then tossed in a traditional spicy Bloody mix seasoned with soy sauce. It's the greatest excuse ever to eat ribs for brunch, as if an excuse was even necessary. Just imagine them served over a bed of Kraft mac 'n cheese...
Tater tots with bacon and bleu cheese dip, right this way

Chicken waffle sandwich
Andrew Zimmer

3. Cornbread Waffle Sandwich with Chicken
Waffle & Wolf, Brooklyn
Approximate Calorie Count: 739. Corn. Bread. Waffle. 'Nuff said.
Taco Bell may think it has nichethis market covered, but it turns out there's a little place in Brooklyn that you've never heard of that's been doing waffle sandwiches all along, and you can trust us, because we don't have an ironic mustache OR a unicycle. This one's got shredded chicken, salsa, and avo stuffed into a cornbread waffle (!) with jalapenos baked into it.
Check out their strawberry/banana/Fluff/Nutella dessert waffle...

Bacon Flurry
Sean Cooley

2. Bacon Brittle Ice Cream Flurry
Burke's Bacon Bar, Chicago
Approximate Calorie Count: 874. But you've gotta get to the bottom to salvage every last bit of bacon!
David Burke, of Top Chef Masters fame, is bacon-obsessed, as evidenced by the fact that he opened a bacon bar where everything (sandwiches, buns, wraps, COOKIES) has bacon in it. To wit: this soft-serve vanilla flurry topped with whiskey-soaked cherries, chocolate shavings, chocolate sauce, and a bacon brittle topping. It's perfect for satisfying the dessert-loving kid in you, while also helping you to hit your bacon and whiskey man-quotas.
But what does a chocolate chip cookie that uses bacon fat instead of butter look like??

Fluffernutter Waffles
Adam Robb

1. Fluffernutter Waffle
The Continental, Atlantic City
Approximate Calorie Count: 980. Good luck fitting this in your school lunch box...
The Fluffernutter is a delicious and innovative dessert sandwich, featuring marshmallow fluff and peanut butter. The folks at The Continental have taken the innovation to the next level, turning the sammie into a WAFFLE, with peanut butter waffles getting topped with peanut butter crunch before being drizzled with peanut butter and chocolate sauces, plus little dollops of roasted Fluff.
This place also has fried chicken piled on top of white cheddar waffles (!)