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Fat Kid Fridays, November 8th Edition: The week's most ridiculous eats, ranked by calorie content

November! It's the month of holiday preparation and Thanksgiving, meaning you'll likely be having some pretty gargantuan meals. As a kind of calisthenics routine for your stomach, we've prepared a who's who of crazy-big and just downright crazy foods, from a French fry-stuffed burrito to burrito-topped French fries. Oh yeah, and there's plenty of non-tater-related stuff on here, too. We just think it's good to start your exercise with some vigorous starching.

Andrew Zimmer
6. Mac & Cheese Cupcake
The Skylark, NY
Approximate Calorie Count: 314 (each)
Doth mine eyes deceive me? Verily, it cannot be a cupcake, that is construct'd of macaroni! Oh, but it is, dude -- these poppable appetizers, coming out of a 30th-floor kitchen in New York, are topped with tomato confit "frosting" and kale "sprinkles" and are "totally delicious", so you should "eat" them. If you know what we mean.
The views from this place are pretty spectacular... and the food ain't so bad, either...
Sara Norris
5. "Royale Style" Funnel Cake
Coin Op, San Diego
Approximate Calorie Count: 788 (each)
With this "Royale Style" funnel cake from San Diego arcade/eatery Coin Op, you'll get magically transported to probably the fanciest carnival you could ever imagine. It's a heaping portion piled with strawberry sauce, cocoa nibs, a drizzling of honey, and a generous dusting of powdered sugar. Now if only you could win that giant teddy bear...
Mortal Kombat, Frogger -- they've got it all!
Laura Hayes
4. 18-Hour Short Rib
Bluejacket, Washington, DC
Approximate Calorie Count: 871 (each)
This awesome short rib's got everything but a Napoleon complex -- balsamic braised cabbage, Parmesan spaetzle, and butter-roasted turnips -- and's almost illegally tender. Get it? It's a currency joke. We have range!
Like crispy duck meatballs? That's kind of a weird thing to have a pre-existing penchant for, but they've got 'em...
Jeff Miller
3. Epic Steak & Potato Burrito
Del Taco, Various Locations
Approximate Calorie Count: 944 (each)
National American-Mexican chain Del Taco's just begun rolling out (hehe) "Epic Burritos", one of which being this carne asada-stuffed number, also starring chipotle sauce, bacon, cheddar cheese, sour cream, and CRINKLE-CUT FRIES. But let's face it -- the crinkle-cut fries are the (always fantastic) Betty White of this sitcom's guest-star roster.
The rest of their new lineup is certifiably "epic" as well...
Kailley Lindman
2. Fried Chicken
Harold's Chicken Shack, Chicago
Approximate Calorie Count: 1080
Amidst an ever-changing landscape of donut buns and sushiritos (a place we could admittedly see ourselves retiring), it can sometimes be comforting to get back to the basics. Which is what makes this simple paper tray filled with perfectly crisped fried chicken all the more enticing. Serve some golden wings with a side of tangy hot sauce, and you've got a meal that can't be beat. Except maybe by our final entry?
The rest of their new lineup is certifiably "epic" as well...
Jeff Miller
1. Carne Asada Fries
Taco Love, Los Angeles
Approximate Calorie Count: 1156
Yeah, this is the second Mexican/potato preparation on our list, but it's definitely the more no-holds-barred indulgent of the two. Coming straight outta LA's ever-churning Cal-Mex cuisine machine, this dish is composed of a bed of thick-cut fries layered with shredded cheese, a dousing of sour cream, guacamole, and shreds upon shreds of succulent marinated beef... and then more cheese. Serve with a lime wedge, and who even needs a tortilla? Tortillas: if you're reading this, we didn't mean it. Please come back, bebé.
Get the step-by-step photo guide to making this monster, right here...

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