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First Taste: Dunkin Donuts' totally healthy new bacon 'n egg Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich

Continuing in the rich tradition of savory/sweet fast food breakfast creations like the McGriddle and Taco Bell's Waffle Taco, Dunkin' Donuts has gotten into the game with a glazed donut breakfast sandwich. WHAT TOOK SO LONG, DUNKIN'? You were already making breakfast sammies, you had a bunch of donuts lying around that Fred the baker made hella early in the morning. It's not like you had to get a team of scientists to engineer a waffle taco shell or... whatever exactly you call those maple-studded pancake thingies on McGriddles. Still, better late than never. Perhaps the donut sundae isn't far behind after all.

Expecting to run into a horde of people just as excited to take this thing for a taste-spin as myself, I was surprised to learn that I was their first donut sandwich customer. The cashier had tried it though. "I like it, like a big plate of bacon and pancakes", she said. One young mother grabbing a coffee with her toddler looks at this fetching sign and mutters "Gross" -- maybe you should take your cultural elitism to a Starbucks or Whole Foods, Gwyneth Paltrow! I find it amusing that people often express disgust at things in sandwich form that they'd take no issue with were they combined together on a plate. Plus, this thing comes in at a scant 360 calories. A bacon egg 'n cheese croissant packs a whopping 480. It is borderline nutritionally irresponsible NOT to eat this thing.
My slight disappointment that my sandwich doesn't so much resemble the pretty one in their poster (damn you Photoshop... When will I ever learn?!) fades as I take my first bite. The initial sugary rush of the glazed exterior quickly gives way to the soft, sweet breadiness of the donut, and the bacon & egg show up and they're all, "Hey Matt's mouth, let's party." I wouldn't say everything was totally harmonious -- I was kind off oddly alternating between tasting the bacon & egg and the donut. But then again, unlike that dude from Coldplay's wife, I rather enjoy the tastes of bacon, eggs, and donuts.
As things progress, the donut compresses quite a bit (perhaps I should have gripped it a touch more daintily) and the bacon is all gone. Note to the higher-ups over at Dunkin': this thing could totally handle another strip of bacon. Even if that pushes it over the 400-calorie mark and it loses its status as one of the healthiest breakfast items in history. Mess-wise, it isn't too bed. The flecks of glaze have a tendency to get everywhere, but it's nothing a napkin, or better yet, looking around the restaurant casually and making sure no one's watching before slyly licking your fingers but then noticing out of the corner of your eye that one lady totally saw you, leaving you kind of embarrassed, can't handle.
With my sandwich gone, I briefly ponder getting another before thinking better of it (I'm essentially an ascetic!), and observe that despite the heavy flow of traffic, I was still the only donut breakfast sandwich order as far as I could tell. Which was shocking to me, seeing as I live in Chicago. We re-engineered pizza crust so we could fit three more pounds of cheese inside of it. Either way, I think this little guy will catch on. It tastes like breakfast. It tastes like ingenuity. It tastes like America.

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