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McDonald's Happy Meals are ditching Hot Wheels for books. BOOKS!!

You'd think McDonald's would be satisfied with its triumphs in the fast food field, but apparently that's all just a ploy to cover up their real dream to become R.L. Stine. From November 1 to November 14, the Golden Arches will stuff its Happy Meals not with Barbies or McNugget Buddies but children's books... THAT THEY WROTE THEMSELVES.

Yes, the burger barons are giving kids original McDonald's fiction, and they're all bearing healthy eating messages. One book is called The Goat Who Ate Everything and is the saga of -- wait for it -- a goat with eating control issues. Another, Deana's Big Dreams, tells tale of the world's runtiest dinosaur, who got tall by eating well. For discerning readers, there'll also be books about a health-conscious dodo named Doddi who visits Orlando (city of health!...?) and an ant bodybuilder.

This is all part of some commitment McDonald's made in 2011 to make sure 100% of its communications to kids send a nutritional message. And apparently this is only the first phase of a much bigger book strategy, so let's start the letter-writing campaign for some Hamburglar mystery novels now.

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