Walmart deli employee Shane relentlessly pranks his bosses

Legends can be born out of the humblest places. Smallville. Gary, Indiana. A Walmart deli. Redditor Ardentleprechaun recently posted the ballad of his coworker Shane, an indefatigable spirit who finds new, inspiring ways to mess with his Walmart bosses each day. Below, we picked out the best management messages to that mischievous Shane, a person we sincerely hope is real. Because if so, we've got some meats we'd like to get under warranty...

Shane Wal-Mart deli puppets
Reddit/Ardentleprechaun

Advance reviews call Shane's all-bag production of The Glass Menagerie "inventive", if "a bit lifeless".

Shane Wal-Mart deli multiple personality disorder
Reddit/Ardentleprechaun

Jeez, Management, it's been called dissociative identity disorder for years. Read a book!

Shane Wal-Mart deli stoner approved
Reddit/Ardentleprechaun

How did he get those seals to sit still?!

Shane Wal-Mart deli swinecraft
Reddit/Ardentleprechaun

Well excuse him for trying to conserve our nation's lumber supply.

Shane Wal-Mart deli free samples
Reddit/Ardentleprechaun

You got your Blu-ray player "sample" last week, so hurry over to Shane's Walmart before all the subwoofer samples are gone!

For the rest of Shane's shenanigans, head over to the Reddit thread.

Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist, and may begin writing under the pseudonym H.P. Swinecraft. Follow her to aliases at @kristin_hunt.