A lot of things are best left to the imagination, like Sasquatch or the actual nutritional content of a Hot Pocket. But one courageous man decided that Patton Oswalt's magnificently disgusting, made-up Black Angus menu needed to be a very real thing and cooked it up for his buddy's bachelor party. We've got all the photo evidence below, but in case you need a refresher, first here's Patton's bit:
So this would be the appetizer platter of "five jumbo deep-fried gulf shrimp, served on a disc of salted butter with 15 of our potato bacon bombs and a big bowl of pork cracklings with our cheese-and-butter dipping sauce". Somewhere, Paula Deen just happy-cried into a Land 'o Lakes tub.
Next up is the "mile-long soup and salad bar featuring bacon and cheese cream soup and our five head of lettuce He-Man salad served in a punchbowl with 18lbs of Ranch dressing; pork-stuffed, deep-fried croutons; and -- what the hell -- a couple of corndogs". Let's give this guy a slow clap for actually making those fair food fantasy croutons.
And now the piece de resistance, the "55oz Los Mesa He-Man Steak Slab served with a deep-fried pumpkin stuffed with buttered scallops and 53 of our potato-bacon bombs". Just saying: you're gonna have an old jack-o-lantern sitting outside your door pretty soon, man. You know what to do.