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13 really, really stupid kitchen gadgets you should never buy

There're certain things that you absolutely want to have in your kitchen, like a blender, a cast-iron pan, and someone who actually knows how to cook. Then there're the other things, which you absolutely don't need, but that might end up in your kitchen because someone has no idea that you're supposed to buy people socks and festive bottles of Malibu for Christmas. Or maybe you drank that Malibu and ended up watching QVC. Either way, here are 13 really, really stupid kitchen gadgets. Check your shelves to see what kind of person you are.

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Chef'n
This micro-machine called the Garlic Zoom slices garlic as it rolls around, saving you a whole 10sec of valuable chopping time.
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With the push of a button, this Cake Slice will sing a variety of tunes ranging from Jingle Bells to the Birthday Song, making it the perfect gift for someone who doesn't have any friends.
SpitJack
Worried about the dangers of vaccine-free beef? A simple hot injection from the SpitJack will cure what ail's your meat, or, level it up with an amazing marinade.
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The Fancy
Thanks to this handy mold, your hamburger can fulfill the wild dreams it never had of becoming a hot dog.
QVC
Rachael Ray knows how to fulfill the needs of the modern chef, who obviously needs a special ceramic "garbage bowl" to "reduce trips to the garbage while you are chopping, slicing, dicing, and cooking". But wait -- "it can be used to prepare food as well as serve it in style"!! Dirty, garbage style!! It's like Derelicte for the home.
FrankFormer
The Frankformer lets your hot dogs fulfill the wild dreams they never had of becoming little funny-shaped people.
Grab Opener
When a regular bottle opener just isn't fast enough, opt for this -- the absolute fastest bottle opener in the world. The video proof is here.

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