You probably love food and love to laugh, and if you don't, you're likely dead, or worse, have a horrible sense of humor. Get your delicious comedy fill through the five greatest stand-up bits about food and drink from greats like Louis C.K and Mitch Hedberg, all carefully selected for maximum gut-busting. 5. Mitch Hedberg on Club Sandwiches While we're also partial to his classic ducks and bread joke, and, of course, the ol' vending machine bit, Mitch Hedberg reached food comedy heights with his theory on the formation of the club sandwich. Unfortunately, we couldn't find an actual video of him performing the bit, so you'll just have to enjoy the audio playing over these professional (?) sammie history re-enactors.
4. Kyle Kinane on Cheddar Bay Biscuits This riff on Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits goes to some weird places. The possible existence of a Cheddar Bay, sailors cruising through cheese waves, etc. But mostly, it settles on the strange convergence of Michael Jackson tributes and biscuit lovin' that Kyle Kinane witnessed on Facebook back in 2009. Take note, Olive Garden breadsticks Facebook page. This is how you handle celebrity death.
3. Patton Oswalt on Liquor Ads We don't think it's hyperbole to say that Patton Oswalt is one of the greatest people alive. The man drops utterly insane Star Wars sequel ideas like it's nothing, and has turned Twitter trolling into a fine art. But he's chiefly a top-notch stand-up, as seen in this bit about mad-depressing booze ads. 2. Louis C.K. on Cinnabons No one does self-loathing quite like patron comedy saint Louis C.K., particularly when it comes to food. From the amazing new Cinnabon name he throws out, to his desperate account of ordering one in an airport, Louie's ode to the branded cinnamon roll is one of the finest moments from his 2007 special Shameless. 1. Jim Gaffigan on Hot Pockets To make an appropriate analogy, if food stand-up was hor d'oeuvres, Jim Gaffigan's takedown of Hot Pockets would be the lobster-stuffed, caviar-encrusted Kobe beef sliders. It's a bit so beloved, it's the fourth Google hit for "Hot Pockets". Before their social media, before their profiles in Time, and deservedly so.