Dried meat, your way

From personal pan pizzas to salads for girls, snackers have long been able to stuff their faces with custom combos, but when it came to jerky the best you could do was also pick up some Combos. Finally bringing the people customizable dried meat of their own design, check out SlantShack Jerky.

Spending years perfecting the process in the kitchen of his apartment, the founder of SSJ's upgraded his operation to allow the public to design their own artisanal jerky with "bold, adventurous flavors", and unleash "a jerky flavor revolution upon the meat loving masses", who, loving meat so much, likely have quite a bit of mass. The "Build-a-Jerky" process starts by selecting a size ("personal", "sharing", or "party") and protein, which for now's either regular USDA choice beef or a premium grass-fed variety sourced from Vermont Highland Cattle (turkey soon); next up's a top-secret-length bath in your choice of marinade, which comes in either original (the "most perfect of unions" between sweet, savory & tangy), or a blend of peppers and spices called the Hot & Smoky, also Phyllis Diller's nickname in the 70's...the 1870's! If so inclined you can pick a glaze (Brown Sugar, Spicy Pepper), and/or a rub, which include options like simple Garlic Powder ("There's a reason it's offered"), the cayenne & brown sugar Smoky Sanche's Dusty Trail, and the cumin-y Jerk McGurk's Wild Rubdown for a "spit-over-the-fire feel" (unlike your other rubdowns, which just have a "no-spit-over-the-pants" feel).

If you aren't feeling creative there's also the chef's choice variety option, essentially a combo pack stuffed with their signature flavors, though if you want Nacho Pretzel you'll have to BYOC.