Cosmopolitan

They say two is better than one, although the original Back To The Future does have its merits, despite the fact that the DeLorean hasn't even been hover-converted. Giving you two towers of trouble: The Cosmopolitan.

Designed by a team that's done everything from the Mandarin Oriental to Nobus across the country, seriously glitzed-out Cosmo features dual 50-story spires, a 100,000sqft casino, ~3,000 rooms with floor-to-ceiling windows (including suites with Sub Zeros, washer/dryers, and massive wraparound terraces), and a handy quiz to find out if you're really pleasing your man. Food options're fairly staggering: 12 restaurants ranging from NY Fave Blue Ribbon Sushi Bar & Grill (fusing Japanese and American comfort), organic burgers and shakes from Holstein's, China Poblano, which brings together Chinese noodles and tacos, and an STK steakhouse featuring an in-house DJ, who Bob Saget grounded for trying to bang Steve. Because apparently people drink in Vegas, Book & Stage is a sports book/live music venue; Vesper Bar's a slick spot with a '50s edge paying homage to its namesake cocktail created by James Bond in the Casino Royale book; and Bond has nothing to do with James Bond, but hits you with upbeat house and ever-changing LED art, which unfortunately doesn't stand for Laser Elephant Dongs...or does it?!?

For when you're on chilling duty, there're three pools with differing vibes (including an adults-only one), a full service spa and hamam (w/ 18 massage rooms, three luxury suites, a penthouse), and a mess of upscale retail stores, which you'll be totally able to buy out once you deliver your past self that Sports Almanac.