There are two things pretty much everyone knows when it comes donuts: 1) they're awesome to do in abandoned parking lots with Seth Rogen and Bill Hader before you crash into a pillar and set your car on fire, and 2) they're delicious! Especially when it comes to these five DC donuts, which're anything but Superbad.
Mama’s Donut Bites Food Truck
Mobile, but typically in Arlington, Courthouse, Rosslyn, and Ballston, VA
The Must-Get Donut: Apple-cider Donut Bite
Fried to order in the back of the truck by a "magical donut robot", these dough balls're made with local cider and fresh apples. Pro tip: get 25 donuts for $10 because, 25 donuts for $10. Pro-er tip: grab some red velvet donut holes, too, and ask for cream cheese frosting.
Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken
The Must-Get Donut: The Crème Brûlée Donut
Skip the peanut butter and jelly, look past the birthday cake, and somehow don't order the s’mores in favor of the crème de le crème of fried dough: the, quite literally, crème brûlée donut. Available daily, the CBD features a hard Ninja Turtle outer shell that makes it curiously crunchy, and the object of affection for a couple of crazies at the Washington Post who named it the best donut in DC during a 13-week donut binge.
Birch & Barley
The Must-Get Donut: The Sampler
Come for the beer, stay for the donuts... and the beer. While this 50-tap-beer-carrier only has three varieties of donuts, they’re all worth getting, so... $6 sampler! You'll get all three fried dough rings: toffee-bacon, lemon-poppy glazed, and bittersweet chocolate (available at brunch only).
Nothing But Doughnuts
The Must-Get Donut: The Dinosaur
Available at this subterranean home to the one thing that stood between Newman and his black market dinosaur embryo empire, The Dinosaur's a gut-busting, prehistoric caloric monster that weights nearly 3/4 of a pound and measures 8in across.
The Must-Get Donut: Bourbon Butterscotch Glazed Brioche w/ Bacon
From the same chick behind Birch & Barley, this Dupont Circle fried chicken and dough ring shop is a tight squeeze, but worth every ass/crotch decision thanks to Grapefruit Camparis and Cocoa Krispies-topped chocos. The move though has to be the BBGBB -- the bourbon's Maker's Mark and the bacon is "Kyle's housemade". Ooooh.