The Anti-SXSW Local
This bearded dude with the denim vest covered in patches is only at said venue because he's working the door for extra cash, but hey you should ditch this stupid festival and come check out his metal band at the SXSUX Showcase at some warehouse on the East Side.
The Guy With the Really Creative Business Cards
They're either 17-ply cotton with the colored core, sheet metal cut into ninja stars, reclaimed barn wood, holographic, or miniature chalkboards. It's not entirely clear what industry he is in.
They're playing 12 shows, including one in the Wendy's parking lot.
The Band Who Just Scored a Record Deal
Wait, actually you probably won't see these guys anywhere.
The Just-Drove-in-From-San Antonio Crew
Clad in head-to-toe black? Check. On their way to see Twin Shadow for the ninth time? Check. San Antonians ooze dark wave cred -- no joke. Must be something in the water.
The Party Crasher
Will regale you with tales of scaling the walls to Perez Hilton to see Kanye, climbing inside the Doritos vending machine, and bemoan how the quality of the Playboy party has severely declined in recent years.