420 Legal Defense Plan Know your rights, dude

Despite the City of Austin's plans to unveil an 8ft bronze statue of Willie at 4:20pm today (this is really happening), APD has much less of a sense of humor about the green-headed stranger. So, we tapped Charlie Roadman -- an attorney known for his yearly "Marijuana Law For Musicians" lecture as well as a nearly spotless possession dismissal record -- to address scenarios that just seem to happen to burners:

You're driving down IH-35 just a wee bit above the legally stipulated limit for hybrids and other cars that aren't hybrids, with a still-warm bubbler resting in the cup-holder, when you see the flashing lights...

If you are lucky, you will only get a class C ticket for Possession of Drug Paraphernalia (up to $500 fine). However, if the cop finds a usable amount of marijuana anywhere in the car, you could go to jail for possession (class B misdemeanor). The worst scenario is a DWI charge -- if the officer thinks you have lost the normal use of your mental and/or physical faculties due to marijuana use.

Okay, but what does the cop do if your ringtone busts out with Afroman's "Because I Got High"? Find out right here.

At ACL you're trying to smoke this annoying cigarette that takes like three or four tries to light and doesn't even keep burning, when you get a tap on the shoulder by a guy wearing an un-ironic Security shirt...

They'll most likely just kick you out, but they could hold you until a real cop shows up as a citizen's arrest. It's tough to predict what private security will do.

...then you point to the stage and exclaim, “Woah, is that a holographic Willie Nelson?!!?”, and break into a sprint. Discover if you're screwed right here.

It's a brisk spring evening and you're on your front porch leisurely taking care of a nasty roach infestation when an officer pulls into your driveway like he's your roommate or something...

Your backyard would be different, but if you're seen from the street they'll arrest you.

…but luckily you immediately duck inside your house, lock the door, and turn off the lights so there's nothing he can do, right?

A buddy needed to borrow some oregano to cook a delicious dinner, so you meet him near his house at the corner of 12th and Chicon to lend him an ounce of herb and just as he's offering you a few dollars for your troubles, an officer rolls by and asks what's for dinner...

Unless it's actually oregano, you'll be arrested.

What happens if your friend tells him he plans on roasting a pig? The answer lies beyond this click.

You're at Austin Bergstrom in the security line and take off your shoes to be scanned and for some reason you have a stinky bag of "duty free" right there in your shoe...

Obviously, you will be arrested on the state charge.

...and you also have some brownies in your bag that the Homeland Security officer's dog is very interested in.

Guantanamo? Abu Ghraib? Read more on the Thrumblr.