Dry Hump: The Game As if heavy petting wasn't awkward enough

Choose Your Own Adventures are the best -- if you agree, skip down to the next paragraph, if not, keep reading. You have just been eaten by a whale.

Just created in apparently still-weird Austin, Dry Hump: The Game is a virtual choose-your-own-adventure played out via a series of interactive YouTube vids, through which you'll guide one of two long-haired protagonists (one a dude, one a chick, though both're uncomfortably similar in appearance) into utterly bizarre episodes, with the right picks leading to psychedelic, more-funny-than-sexual heavy-petting slow-mos. Brave scenarios like:

• A seemingly innocuous Bible Study sesh that gets sinfully off-track when you're presented with the opportunity to either go in for the kiss, or engage in a sexy massage atop a plush white carpet -- so that's what they're calling them these days!

• A surprise knock on the door whilst playing video games in your boxers leads you to a crossroads: invite her to join you gaming, or turn up the heat in the kitchen -- this one's actually sort of unfair, because it's not clear if you're playing Mercenaries 2: World in Flames.

• And for the ladies, there's a primo chance to seduce that alluring male co-worker at the video store -- play it cool and wait for the right moment (note: don't do this one), or follow him into the stacks, praying he doesn't find Mercenaries 2: World In Flames, and become preoccupied.