Secret Cinema's Brave New Venture The craziest way to ever see a movie (yes, alcohol is involved)

This Friday, the Secret Cinema is back, partnering up with a fake company named Brave New Ventures for a month-long, crazily interactive screening of an under-wraps film that, for the first time, they can "guarantee that you haven't seen"... so it's clearly John Carter. Joke! It's Pluto Nash. (At the risk of, cough cough, alienating people, it's actually neither.)

Here's how this will go down: when you buy a ticket, you'll be sent to the BNV site and profiled to see which of nine "jobs" you're suited to (Guidelink, Matter Analyst, Containment Officer, etc.), for which you'll need a uniform (either self-made, or supplied by them), and bizarre supplies such as "latex gloves, mask, and soap", or "a crystal", though before finding her at Stringfellows you might want to put on those latex gloves...

"Employees" (you) then head to the Euston-adjacent, ahem, space itself, which is a hulking 19k square feet, with three screening rooms all decked out in-theme, in which you'll have to carry out whatever activities your job title demands, such as "quarantining", "biohacking", and, mirroring Deanna Troi's hunt for android sex, "nighttime data retrieval".

You'll not be going hungry either, as they're partnering up with an uber-chef on themed molecular astronomy -- whoops! -- gastronomy, and there'll also be three bars, because like Battleship (which you're also not seeing), Brave New Ventures require liquid courage.