Being trapped in a confined space underground doesn't really bring out the best in people, so naturally there are those that travel on the Tube who choose to abstain entirely from the rules of the civilized society above them, and go full-Morlock. They may switch lines, but they will never change. These are those people.
1. People who get on BEFORE people get off
You queue-barge too, don't you? You make me sick.
2. Passive-aggressive-mumblings guy
We get it, they pushed past you. Someone call the cops.
3. The dude who won't get up for a pregnant lady
Oh, you're too immersed in your iPhone to notice her standing there? You're not fooling anyone.
5. People who want the entire carriage to hear their conversation
It's totes amazeballs how annoying your conversation is.
6. Person with their bag in the door
For some reason, the Tube won't leave if the door is open. Weird, right?
7. The girl spraying perfume everywhere on herself
If your aim is to unleash an olfactory assault on the rest of the passengers, then you, young lady, have succeeded.
8. Gym buff who forgot deodorant
You may work out, but being trapped underground with you will not.
9. The couple making-out
Please save it for the Paris Metro.
10. The one that thinks they can fit when the carriage is already full
A) You're annoying, and B) you clearly don't realize how fat you truly are.
11. He who jams open the doors to let friends & family on
Man, it's lucky there isn't another train literally every two minutes, otherwise this would be super obnoxious.
12. Exhausted family with way-out-of-control kids
Our sympathy terminated two stops ago.
13. The guy whose headphones could double as speakers for the whole carriage
If you were aware that everyone else can hear you, you probably wouldn't be listening to Linkin Park.
14. They who refuse to move down the carriage
We all know you're hoping to score the next free seat, but that doesn't make you any less of a douche.
15. Everyone going to a football match
Stop being so excited. It's exhausting.
16. Everyone coming back from a football match
How do you still have that much energy? Also, please stop singing in such a small space.
17. Those who stand on the left side of the escalator
No words can express the completeness of your scumbaggery. If you're not right, you're not right.
18. The girl who has a million suitcases
We all see those LHR tags, but Jesus, are you moving houses or something?
19. The girl who just bought everything on Oxford St
Know what else Daddy's credit card can buy? A taxi ride.
20. Person pressing arse against perspex divider
Unless you're Pippa Middleton, NEVER DO THIS.
21. Lack of personal space guy
You can have the arm rest, please just leave me my actual arm?
22. Lack of personal space girl -- the high heels edition
People don’t really need all 10 toes, surely only nine is still perfectly acceptable.
23. People using their actual phone speaker to play music
24. Person who grabs the pole when you're grabbing the pole and touches your hand
Oh god, now you're making eye-contact, too?
25. In fact, literally anyone who makes eye-contact with you
This ride just. Got. Awkward.
26. The newspaper hoarder
Oh come on, you're so not reading that. Give me my Metro!
27. The person whose bags need their own seat
Is your Eastpak comfortable? Because that's what matters.