Girls, Girls, Girls

Because looking at nude pictures on the Internet never gets old, unless you go to Hot4Grannys.net, head to Deja Vu On Main, where you can see nudity for realsies in a new, totally-naked, crazy-high-end gents club in the heart of downtown, which's a weird place to put it considering girls generally refuse to go there.

This two-story, 10000sqft ode to the female form hosts a pair of boobie-licious stages, tufted leather ottomans & booths, dark wood-paneled walls, crystal chandeliers, and a foyer lined with imported marble -- madness!

The centerpiece of the whole thing is a totally-see-through, plus-sign-shaped catwalk above the main floor, where featured performers'll emerge before their routine, and make their way to the ground via a 30ft "sky pole", then make their way over to your 30mm one.

It's also got bonus rooms galore, from private bachelor party closed-doors, to an upstairs cigar den complete with a humidor and lengthy list of Havana's finest, ensuring at least something gets smoked while you're there.

And because you read this far, you've got a chance of getting into the pre-opening party, where the 100-105th people to email the address below'll show up Thursday and get free VIP treatment, including apps, cocktails, and a luxe valet-equipped arrival with a red carpet -- which, thanks to all those hours on the Internet, you know won't necessarily match their drapes.