'Cause he's in Burbank this weekend, has a new special, and's hiring an assistant, we thought we'd call the weeeas-el to talk about Bio-Dome, Andy Dick, and, er, the search for his own black African baby:
Hey what do they call that thing that's like an iPod but it's a little one that people work out with at the gym, but they stopped making them?
Those ones are really good, right? I'm just having my assistant get me one because I lost my iPod, but my iPod's too big to work out with.
That's an easy assistant duty, right?
Well...that's why I need a new assistant.
What are your criteria?
Multitask. If I say I need graphics because I’m doing this new film, and they’re like 'I don’t f***ing know how to do graphics.' Well guess what? Figure it out. Get online, call your friends, go to Graphics.com, Google it, I don’t care how the f*** you figure it out, figure it out.
Was Bio-Dome the beginning of something, the end of something, or the beginning of the end of something?
I knew it was kind of the end of something and I wanted to go out guns a-blazing. I wanted to do something like the live action version of Beavis and Butt-Head.
The title of your variety show is Vegas is My Oyster. So why a variety show?
The way I approach things now when I do stuff, you know, going to Africa to adopt a black baby or whatever it is that I’m working on, I want to attack things that I’m really, really, into.
Ummmm... what? I just Googled "Pauly Shore black baby". That was for a movie?
Yeah, Adopted. It's like Borat without the costume. There’s a scene where I go to the Oprah Winfrey school in Johannesburg and we just roll up, kind of like Michael Moore, and I go the front and there’s all these like guards and s**t and I’m like 'Yo, I’m here, Oprah Winfrey sent me here. I want to get a black baby' and they just look at me like I’m crazy. It was awesome.
Sounds like it. Did you know that when you put "wheeze" into Google, "wheeze the juice" is the first option? Would you consider that a big career accomplishment?
I think everything that I’ve done is shocking. Everywhere I go, people know me, it's weird. That’s why I love being in LA because people know me but won't say anything. It's so relaxing.
You're good buddies with Andy Dick. So I assume you've had some pretty crazy nights out with him?
Are you kidding? I wouldn’t be able to handle that sh**.