Hey ESPN, the empty orange seats at Dolphins games don't mean Miami is a “bad sports town”. It just means that, unlike wherever you live, football season is also pool party season in South Florida, and we'd rather spend our Sundays with girls in bikinis than with Richie Incognito. So, if you ever make it down, here’re the top five places that'll make you shut your mouth forever... none of which, you'll notice, are Sun Life Stadium.
Power-ranking Miami's best pool parties
1. Delano South Beach1685 Collins Ave, Miami Beach
2. Dream South Beach Hotel1111 Collins Ave, Miami Beach
3. The Clevelander1020 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach
4. W Fort Lauderdale401 N Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd, Fort Lauderdale
5. Hyde South Beach1701 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach
6. Terrazza at the Shore Club1901 Collins Ave, Miami Beach
If next-level luxury is what you crave, The Delano's got you covered. Check-in for ocean-facing views, spa amenities, beach club access, and rooms featuring rainfall showers and iPads (actually) for you to play with.
Situated just 50yd from the beach, Dream South Beach offers a sunny escape for travelers on both business and vacation. For a taste of the local nightlife, head to one of the many clubs nearby, or just walk upstairs to the rooftop pool lounge.
This football mega-center has more than 40 HDs, and Rockstar Rewards specials like 50-cent wings, 2-for-$7 Jager shots, $12 pitchers, and $5 SoCo shots.
By day, infinity-edge pools, award-winning restaurants, and water views from every room await you at W Fort Lauderdale. By night, guzzle a signature cocktail at either of their clubs, Whiskey Blue or the Living Room.
Oh, you thought you knew all there was to know about SLS? Well now you need to learn yourself on Hyde, the LA superlounge whose infinitely more low-key Miami version basically looks like a swank rec/sun room complete with cushy orange couches, hula girl lamps, a tile-lined patio and pool, plus a foosball table whose players are princesses and punk rockers.