Movies I Don't Remember Hilariously inaccurate film recaps

Over time, your mind can play tricks on you, which is why you should always check to make sure your shoelaces aren't tied together before walking anywhere. For a blog from a guy whose mind has a friend crouching down behind him, check Movies I Don't Remember.

Inspired by an "impressively inaccurate synopsis of Jurassic Park III", MIDR's a daily blog where the author briefly recaps old movies based entirely on the power of his memory, though Snap! would claim they've already got that. Choice mis-recollections include:

Under Siege:
"Erika Eleniak jumps out of a cake, topless. Seagal might be a chef, and it's Die Hard on a boat -- but mainly what I remember is: Erika Eleniak jumps out of a cake, topless."

Mystic River:
Tim Robbins is mentally handicapped and may have killed somebody's kid. Sean Penn yells a lot in the street. Eventually Tim Robbins probably has to be put down, like Lenny in Of Mice and Men. Lots of intense feeling, lots of yelling -- and I think there might be some kind of code being observed, like a code of the streets, or some kind of gang's code, or a code of brothers."

Jerry Macguire:
"Tom Cruise, in the title role, is a sports agent who's fallen on hard times, but Cuba Gooding Jr. is his ticket out. Tom Cruise has sex with a woman who says, "Never stop f***** me", and she's supposed to be bad. Also, there's some horrible little boy with glasses, although I have no idea how he factors into the plot."

Only after stringently taxing his Omega-3-starved brain for the vaguest of details, the guy pairs each carefully crafted synopsis with a still pic from the movie, thus shedding some light on what really happened (hint: your jerk mind just ordered you 70 extra-large pizzas).