With Wikipedia gone offline, the Internet has become a post-apocalyptic wasteland devoid of any useful information. Thankfully, as in Isaac Asimov's "Foundation" series, a few precious seeds of wisdom have been saved and planted here, starting the slow process of repopulating the E-earth. So read on lest you forget the pinnacle of Shaq's acting career, or, you know... how to poop:

"Cherry Pie" (Warrant): "The lyrics are generally about a man bragging about his sexual exploits (swingin') with a woman who is very attractive and who is the object of desire of many men".

Shaquille O'Neal's Kazaam: "Max confesses to Kazaam that he and his father aren't really connecting, though Kazaam attempts to shirk the issue with some rapping".

List of Full House characters: "Of all three of the Tanner children, Stephanie has dealt with the hardest issues, such as smoking, "make-out" parties, joyriding, and witnessing child abuse, also having witnessed her mother's death as a little girl as young as five. Stephanie is also a good dancer".

"Maniac" (song): "Maniac" is a synthpop song performed by Michael Sembello... [who] recalls that an early version of the chorus was: 'He's a maniac, maniac that's for sure/He will kill your cat and nail him to the door'. At the suggestion of the record's producer Phil Ramone, the lyrics were rewritten to describe a girl with a passion for dancing".

Tom Collins: "In 1874, people in New York, Pennsylvania, and elsewhere... would start a conversation with 'Have you seen Tom Collins?' After the listener predictably reacts by explaining that they did not know a Tom Collins, the speaker would assert that Tom Collins was talking about the listener to others and that Tom Collins was 'just around the corner'... In The Great Tom Collins hoax of 1874, as it became known, the speaker would encourage the listener to act foolishly by reacting to patent nonsense that the hoaxer deliberately presents as reality. In particular, the speaker desired the listener to become agitated at the idea of someone talking about them to others such that the listener would rush off to find the purportedly nearby Tom Collins".

Defecation: "The ideal posture for defecation is the squatting position, with the thighs flexed upon the abdomen. In this way the capacity of the abdominal cavity is greatly diminished and intra-abdominal pressure increased, thus encouraging expulsion...".