In the years since their Super Bowl ads aired, everyone knows what happened to Cindy Crawford, Britney Spears, and the game HORSE. But what about the actual animals who attacked our consciousness during those million-dollar one-minute spots? Is that saucy cow from 2004's California Cheese commercials performing unnatural acts with an elk in British Columbia? Are those pigeons who pooped all over that jag-off's fancy sports car now pooping all over Mike Tyson's fancier sports car? (Answer: probably -- Mike Tyson owns over 3000 pigeons.)
Here's where the rest of these briefly famous sub-humans landed:
The Visa Elephant (1998)
Then: While the Packers took on the Broncos in San Diego, Visa introduced us to a girl and her elephant. The elephant could do pretty much everything, except play with smartphones, because they didn't have smartphones yet.
Now: You better believe that elephant got a smartphone.
EDS Cat Herders (2000)
Then: Before Hewlett-Packard scooped them up, this computer services company gave us a look into the lives of some cowboys who wrangled tabbies instead of sheep.
Now: Those cats made a fortune from the buyout, but they still hang out at IKEA, napping on flurgs, scratching smörbollödmjuknuts, and, well, there are meatballs.
Pedigree Crazy Pets (2009)
Then: The canine chow company introduced us to people who thought owning a dog was lame, and so they kept rhinos, warthogs, and emus as pets.
Now: Owning a dog became cool again. Now that emu's walking the streets for money/emu food.
CareerBuilder Chimps (2007)
Then: A gang of crazed chimpanzees destroyed a conference room in this CareerBuilder ad.
Now: Then they lost their shirts in the subprime crisis.
Pepsi Goose (1998)
Then: A soda-fueled goose one-ups skydiver/'90s relic Troy Hartman.
Now: Goose wants those royalty checks. Give me those royalty checks, accountant man.
Trident Squirrel (2003)
Then: Is that a squirrel in your pants, or are you just unhappy with the dental effectiveness of your gum? (It was a squirrel.)
Now: Apparently while Red Bull gives you wings, Trident actually helps you fly.
Published: January 31, 2013 at 3:30pm EST
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