If there's one thing you can say about cement-covered parks, it's that they're cement-covered. If there's another, it's that they're, um, parks. Giving you more than two things to say about UCity's, The Porch at 30th St Station's Minigolf Beer Garden. "Wait, Minigolf Beer Garden?" you say. "That sounds next-level complicated." It totally is, which's why we've put together this intensely detailed, super complex breakdown:

Beer Garden!: This German drinking pop-up comes courtesy of the dudes at normally-in-the-station Bridgewater's Pub, who'll be slinging pints of legit Motherland suds (Warsteiner's Pilsner, Dunkel Lager & König Ludwig Hefeweizen), plus Long Trail IPA & Double Bag. Necessary carbs'll come via bread-hugged German brats heaped with sauerkraut, and Italian Sausage sandos, providing yet another German/Italian alliance young American men will surely dominate.

Mini Golf!: Fork over your ID to the greenskeeper for a free ball & putter, which you'll use to play nine holes' worth of the best in synthetic-turfed mini links (filled with doglegs, hills, dips & loops), then turn in your finished scorecard for a shot at a $500 gift card from Dick's Sporting Goods -- win it, and you'll definitely have more than a couple things to say to the losers who don't.