Because actually knowing about stuff is for losers and people who paid attention to those '80s NBC PSA's, try an alternate approach to knowledge by throwing in conversation-derailing fun facts from this about-to-be published tome preaching the best strategy to BS your way through life. To wit:
The Situation: You're chilling at Blind Lady Ale House when a hairy dude plops down at the bar next to you and starts talking about ABV, IBU's, and something called wort, which apparently isn't what you had burned off last spring by the dermatologist.
What to Say: While swirling the suds around in your cup casually reply, “Hmmm, that's all very interesting, but have you heard of Chicha? It's an ancient Incan beer made from corn. And in order to get the corn to ferment faster, the Incans made the beer using human saliva.” Then ask for another orange slice in your Red Dog.
The Situation: You're on a North Park art walk wearing the skinniest jeans you own when you overhear a tatted-up beauty talking about how the neon banana you're staring at is just a Warhol knockoff.
What to say: Adjust your ironic beret and disinterestedly offer up, “Speaking of that dude, from 1966 to 1967 Warhol was the manager for The Velvet Underground and suggested they record an album with the German singer Nico, which is worth pointing out only because this place just reeks of German Expressionist architecture, right?”
The Situation:You're still stuck on the sky level in Kid Icarus without flaming arrows, and it has made you late to work for the sixth straight day. Your boss is the opposite of pleased.
What to Say: “Heidegger states that only when being experienced is time meaningful. Time as a concept on its own is not meaningful.” (Note: this will probably only work if it causes him to have an aneurysm, but at least you'll sound awesome).
Published: July 15, 2011 at 4:00am EDT
Be the first to know about the newest restaurants, bars, & events in your hood.