When the “Code Green” alert blasted off at the National Zoo, we knew either Al Gore was streaking through the zoo again, or some animal had flown the coop. After finding out it was poor little Rusty the red panda, we reached out to this professional animal guy, only to find out he's actually not a professional and is horrible at his job. So instead, we decided to offer up our best opinions as to where Rusty was painting the town, um, red:
1.) He definitely, definitely went to Bambu -- not for their Asian cuisine, but because he wanted bamboo and can't spell, because he's a damn panda.
Brief GIF interlude 1 -- Rusty getting swole:
2.) Next stop:The GW J Street dining hall. Why? Because a) there are a lot of co-eds who would swoon over a red panda and b) they've got a spot called bamboo and, again, dude is a panda.
Brief GIF interlude 2 -- Rusty scared as hell:
3.) In case he was attempting to make a quick escape, he might have tried to hit up District Bamboo Bikes, though he wouldn't have gotten far when he started eating his vehicle.
Brief GIF interlude 3 -- They probably should start locking the doors at the Zoo:
4.) While Rusty wasn't ever considered a danger to any human, that doesn't mean he wasn't a threat to the dance floor. Especially the one at Eden's bamboo bar.
Brief GIF interlude 4 -- Dude's got some sick moves:
5.) Final stop? The Bogart Salon, of course, to pick up some of their BAMBOO Collection products because, well... you get it.