thrillist

Truly appreciating something often requires understanding the process of making it...except for babies, cause even sex can't make them not be the worst. Learning you the process of all things porcine: Mangalitsa.

Taught on-farm, this three-day hands-on class is led by an Austrian master butcher and his wife who want to show anyone willing how to kill, butcher, cook, and cure an entire Mangalitsa hog, a wooly breed (known for their "dark, deeply flavorful", marbled-like-beef meat) that was once nearly extinct, and thanks to you is now on its way back there. The itinerary:

Day One
After a shot of rum to loosen up, you'll put down your own beast using a captive bolt pistol, bleed it out, scald it in a boiling tub, remove remnant hair via blowtorch, and eviscerate it, delicately splitting the carcass and removing the organs, though organs have been known to leave folks A Whiter Shade of Pale.

Day Two
Using the most perishable ingredients from head to tail, you'll learn how to clean & cook the mess you've made, churning out blood sausage, head cheese, liver (both sauteed and pate'd), lung/heart/tongue stew w/ veggies and lemon, spleen spread over toast and deep fried, and brains cooked up with eggs -- odd, as none of the pigs were on drugs.

Day Three
This one's all about butchering, partitioning off the tasty common cuts and learning how long to age, smoke, and brine parts of the hog that're ideal for curing, though at this point nobody can save their bacon. Cause you're totally eating it.

While tastings are incorporated throughout, you can also opt to take home either a half or whole hog, ironic, as that's how many babies are made in the first place.

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Tickets are on sale now so get to Mosefund.com to grab your slice of hog heaven