Everything You Absolutely Must Do in San Antonio This Summer

It's that insane time of year again: From May 1 to October 1, San Antonio's climate is what we imagine life on Venus feels like. A walk through your local supermarket parking lot needs to be accompanied by an oxygen tank, liters of ice cold water, a cold towel, and an astronaut suit. But let's make the best of it, shall we? Here's a list of must-do SA events for this ungodly time of year, some of which might even cool you off!

Pearl Brewery
Flickr/Katie Haugland Bowen

Get your face melted by Brownout

Formed by members of the Grammy Award-winning band Grupo Fantasma, Brownout is known for their loud, danceable songs and their charming stage presence. You'll get to see them live; lucky you!

Ingest tequila, tacos, and beer at Tequila, Taco, Cerveza Fest

Now you have plans for Father's Day weekend: Take your dad here and bond with him over tequila, beer, tacos, and drinking games. Held at La Villita, the event lasts from 4 to 10pm.

Cool off with Summer Slushies at Ranger Creek

Please, for the love of God, don't miss this. These ice-cold slushies have alcohol in them, and are sure to cure you of insufferable-heat-syndrome. No RSVP is required. Food trucks will be there, dogs & children are welcome, and no RSVP is required. No excuses.

Tour a brewstillery and eat crispy pizza

Vero Wood Fired Pizza will be onsite, slinging thin pizzas out of its 750-degree oven imported all the way from Italy.

Dance to the accordion of Santiago Jimenez at Canciones: Songs of Texas

This three-part summer music series will feature South Texas music and is free to the public. It kicks off with a Tex-Mex dance party with Amber Digby, Santiago Jimenez & Jason Saldana on June 30.
Little Gretel
Little Gretel

Celebrate America at The Pearl's Red, White and Blues

Featuring Jackie Venson, Nakia and the Blues Grifters, and Will Owen Gage, this family-friendly celebration will have prime picnic spots, live music, a water park dance contest (which sounds dangerous, yet enticing), hula-hoopers, and more.

Watch a free outdoor screening of The Princess Bride

Remember that substitute teacher who popped in a dusty VHS cassette of The Princess Bride to lull your rambunctious class into submission? Bring a lawn chair and some friends, and relive those old memories! It's free, just like your public school education.

Stuff your face during Charc Week

Created by Restaurant Gwendolyn's chef-owner Michael Sohocki, Charc Week is now in its fifth year and is celebrated Texas-wide. The rules are clear: Participating restaurants must have creative control of their menu, they must make everything on the plate, and each dish must have at least four meat (or meat-like) items. The Esquire Tavern & Max's Wine Dive are just a few participating restaurants this year.

Browse a diverse selection of vinyl at Sound on Wax Record Show

Face it: Wax sounds better than iTunes, Spotify, or compressed MP3s. Sam Carvajal, owner of CD Sam, is throwing this party to celebrate music the way it should be played. Browse vinyl records, eight tracks, and cassettes. Best of all, it's 100% free to the public.

Celebrate Bruce Robison at Floore's

You know that song "Wrapped" by George Strait? Bruce Robison wrote it. How about "Travelin' Soldier" by the Dixie Chicks? He wrote that too. He's a country music legend, and he'll play inside at Floore's, which is a pretty intimate setting for a musician as decorated as Robison.
San Antonio River Walk
Flickr/Zach Korb

Race your enemies at the Ford Canoe Challenge

A River Walk tradition since 1969, the Ford Canoe Challenge is a great way to get to know the city. Strap on a life vest, grab an oar, and paddle like someone's chasing you through the depths of our beloved river.
The San Antonio River Walk
The San Antonio River Walk

Support local artists at the River Walk's Labor Day Artisan Show

I know this is an outdoor event, and it's the middle of summer, but this is the perfect place to buy gifts for family and friends. Whether you're into jewelry, art, pottery, or clothing, the Labor Day Artisan Show will have something for everyone.

Celebrate local talent at Jazz'SALive

This free event showcases award winning jazz artists from across the globe and our beloved city. You can expect two stages, over 20 food vendors, and a bunch of happy San Antonians wondering about the beautifully renovated grounds of Travis Park.

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Stephen Ross writes about all things San Antonio. Follow him to post-work libation liberation on Twitter @stephen__ross.