Not a food-themed wrestling exhibition starring your favorite WWF Sgt., Pizza Slaughterfest is actually the "world's largest, most gruesome pizza-eating competition" -- an hour-long swallow-off going down this Sat at Tony Boloney's (sorry Tommy Pastrami's), where 14 people (possibly including you) will try to each finish 30 slices as fast as humanly possible.

Oh, and these aren't just any 30 slices -- they're all specialty jobs piled with all kinds of signature insanity (deconstructed Italian subs, beer-battered chicken, 1000 Island-drenched pastrami, reubens, spicy meatballs, and cheesesteaks), plus there's, um, this: The Casino Carnivore, a scratch mozzarella pie with 10 layers of meat -- good luck Hold'in 'Em down. Whether you're walking off your win, or running from the challenge, this year's contest's also paired with AC's biggest street festival, a next-door fete where 200 vendors'll sling non-pie goodness (think funnel cakes, water ice, sausage & peppers) while Chelsea Pub'll man outdoor beer garden taps during 8hrs of sun-soaked local bands and DJs, so expect to get Tanner.

And yes, there's still one spot left in the pizza comp that they're saving just for a Thrillist reader. All you need to do to apply is click the link below, come up with an awesome nickname, then answer three simple questions including "Why do you want to do Slaughter?", really though, you'd prefer to just Cobra Clutch him.