Eat A roving meat coma

Knowing where to find Q is easy (it's right after MNOP), but getting to it can be a hassle. Enter Texas Q Tours: a newly launched venture from Man Up Texas BBQ (Gettin' Sauced Fest; the Q Card) that leads 12hr bus tours of iconic central Texas meat-destinations and other gastronomical pleasure domes. As an example, this weekend's itinerary includes:

8a departure for Stonewall's Becker Vineyards, known for one of the best Cabs to ever come out of TX, as well as a three-acre lavender field, whose delightful smell will soon be completely owned by...

Cranky Frank's, a Fredericksburg mesquite-smoker whose pitmasters start work at 2a and sauce with a generations-old, mustard-based German recipe. Then it's on to...

Johnson City's Texas Hill Vineyard, the first Pinot Grigio producer in TX, making them a true Original Grigio. If wine's not strong enough, never fear, because next comes...

Garrison Bros, TX's whiskey distiller, whose small-batch runs are impossible to find in liquor stores. They'll be serving live music, bourbon, and fried chicken, a great appetizer before hitting...

Sisterdale Smokehouse, open only every other weekend as the side project of an accountant who made a competitive-circuit name for himself with his unconventional sugar rub, a substance that won't keep you looking Young, but might make you look Ernst. And finally...

A pick-me-up at local caffeine-pushers Fara Coffee, and a put-you-down from Sugar Mama's Bakeshop.

The next trip will likely stop by Cooper's in Llano and Spicewood's Opie's, where you always know the Q is coming.