Religion's nothing without guilt, and you'll get heaping portions of it at Lard Have Mercy: a newly opened food trailer from the coolest guy in Elgin (he's the dude you call to fix your air conditioning), who's decided to bring his deep-fried catering biz to the masses' masses.

Bacon's in nearly everything, from the cheese-stuffed Juicy Lucy burger (topped w/ hickory-smoked, served alongside bac-flavored fries), to chicken strips wrapped in hog's gold before getting deep-fried and served as Foghorn Leghorns, to a strip-wrapped 1/4lb hot dog called the Pig Sty, so, don't let it touch your eyelid. Or, get down with Wilbur's Balls (cornbread-battered deep-fried chili spheres), Three Little Pigs (deep-fried, sausage-loaded mac & cheese), or chicken-fried bacon strips served with peppered gravy and called Porky's Revenge -- just like the film, they'd be nothing without the stripping.

Battered desserts count deep-fried Oreos & Twinkies, and the banana corn dog Hollaback Girl, a sin you'll No Doubt be feeling contrition for.