The Mason Fargason Collie Burger (now closed) Austin's newest meat coma

Because there's no time like the present to screw your future, try to take down Collie's Burgers' $25 "Mason Fargason Collie Burger": three 1/2lb brisket/chuck patties, six slices of American, some obligatory veggies, and of course a free t-shirt if you finish the damn thing.

The S. Lamar trailer's owner took inspiration from a similar number served at bygone San Antonio diner Little Hips, which his surgeon grandfather worked across from, and no doubt profited off of once patrons' little hips turned big. According to Hips lore, the meatwich was named after a Gold Rush miner who was forced to eat gigantic burgers to survive long periods between meals. In his honor, we filmed another desperate type used to surviving long periods between meals (a local musician) as he tried to live up to the legend -- watch the clip to see if he slays the beast, wins the t-shirt, and totally wrecks his outlook for 2023.