Eat SNAP Supercandy

The tastiest thing to come out of Andover since that minx Harriet Beecher Stowe, this just-unveiled, all-natural sports supplement is like the Gatorade of candy: "loaded with B vitamins, antioxidants, and electrolytes", it comes in five varieties including gum, caramel, and "tarts", aka "come-hithering Harriet Beecher Stowes".