If you want your liquor store's very name to threaten total subjugation of the surrounding population like some irresistible beverage overlord, you could do worse than Total Wine: a Cali-based enterprise now landing in Dallas, complete with a huge stock, a classroom for booze education, a sampling station w/ 3DTV, and iPads w/ pairing apps for cheeses and whatnot. Now about that huge stock:
Wines: They're currently at 6500 options (soon to be 8000), from a $1900 Lafite Rothschild, to more affordable rarities like Israel's Teva Muscato, to a fortified Hungarian called F Takaji, whose notes of pear and honey still cannot soothe the winery's hatred of some random guy named Takaji.
Spirits: Come troll through 330 Scotches (notably Berry Brothers & Rudd's Own Bunnahabhain 1979, aged 32yrs in a sherry cask), 375+ tequilas (clearly you need the gun-shaped Old Carbine), and 500 vodkas, including Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Head (back in the '70s, she turned his brown and green eyes blue).
Beer: Spend hours perusing a 2000+ selection that counts Malheur Brut Reserve, Green Flash Palate Wrecker, Scotland's 18% BrewDog Tokyo, and Clown Shoes Blaecorn Unidragon, a Russian Imperial-style from Massachusetts, which pols are constantly accusing of being Russian Post-Imperial.
Cigars: Their walk-in humidor boasts over 300 smokables like CAO Brazilia Gol! (best name ever?), Fuente Cubanitos, Ashton VSG Wizard, and Diamond Crown Maximus Toro #4 -- which can subjugate the surrounding population simply by being smoked inside.
Published: May 25, 2012 at 4:00am EDT
9350 N Centry Expwy
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