Denver Burger Battle Bottomless beer, bottomless burgers... basically the tops

The average American eats three hamburgers a week. Do you want to be just average? Then be all you can be -- at least in the purely quantitative sense of mass -- and hit Denver Burger Battle, where, in its first year at Sports Authority Field at Mile High, you can inhale unlimited hamburgers from CO's top restos, drink as much craft beer as your body can handle, and even toss a pigskin around an NFL field, marking a third activity Tebow doesn't indulge in. To make the most of the day, you need only to follow this advice:

Dave "Coondog" O'Karma, co-owner of All Pro Eating and man who once ate (a totally safe) 4.5 double-decker burgers in 8mins, recommends you exercise a ton in the days prior to the event. Day of, drink lots of water, and don't starve yourself (it's important to keep up your blood sugar). Once on the field, "eat as fast as you can for as long as you can" before your body can produce a stupid, stupid hormone that tells it you're full.

As for what to dangerously overeat, there's 12 different gourmet burgers, from Row 14's yak patty with burnt onion jam & sharp cheddar, to TAG's ostrich burger with Oaxaca cheese, to Crave Real Burgers' "Wiseguy", all of which'll ensure that immediately upon going home, even the most average out there will join the flop percentile.