The Rock Wood Fired Pizza & Spirits Warning: must wait 20 minutes to thrash after eating

Rock and roll just isn't as synonymous with food as it is with sex and drugs, which sucks, as it basically all stems from one bad experience Mick Jagger had in the '70s trying to snort and bang an eggplant Parm. Trying to set things right: The Rock Wood Fired Pizza & Spirits.

An uber-popular concept in the Pacific Northwest now landing in CO (for those about to go to Lakewood, we salute you), The Rock gets gritty with graffiti'd walls, stage lighting, and "tabletops that look like equipment cases", and dishes pies from an oven that routinely hits 900 degrees, so step up your consistency, Tony Hawk. Green-room-worthy starters include brown sugar mozz bread, sweet red chili/ chipotle/ BBQ wings and onion rings in their Suicide Blonde Ale batter, as well as six mini calzones stuffed with pepperoni, sausage, or buffalo chicken and called Day Trippers, ironically named after a smash hit, considering their effect will be evidenced on your B-side. For mains, there's a penne rigate with blackened shrimp/ chicken/ hot sausage/ pepperoni in a Cajun cream sauce, sammies like a smoked pulled pork, and 21 pizzas including the Satisfaction with mozz/ olives/ spinach/ onions/ prosciutto, the Yellow Brick Road with ham/ pineapple/ mozz, and the roasted pepper/ Cajun spices Bohemian Rhapsody, which is loaded with chicken, despite tuna being Mercury's protein.

What's that you say? Blackened shrimp pizza doesn't rock hard enough for you? Ok then, there're also six shred-worthy microbrews (well really, just microbrews that taste good) like a Sledge Hammer IPA, the "smooth and chocolatey" Jump'n Jack Black, and Rock Steady Red, also the title of an unreleased song Mick penned for a pork lasagna before it totally burned him.