Ranch House Kitchen Brisket, beer Pong, and a mechanical bull

When it comes to Nevada ranches, anyone who wants to spend their nights being ridden can always go to the Bunny, but those who like doing the riding -- and bulls -- now have a new option in Ranch House Vegas: 14000sqft of antler chandeliers, old license plates, hoopty rims, American flags, outdoor patios, and, of course, pork-stuffed prostitute buns.

Assuming you're able to tear yourself away from the scene at Senor Frog's, start by stomping your vague concern at being here into submission with a bucket of PBR, then commence your sugar high crescendo with Mason jars overflowing with saccharine libations (JD Honey, sweet & sour, and Sierra Mist = The Country Creek), which you may need even more of after trying to figure out exactly what governing body blessed their "regulation" beer pong tables.

Not for the faint of heart or anyone who wants theirs to be healthy, the menu's built for the kind of total mandogs who demand regulation beer pong tables: cheddar-filled meatballs in root beer BBQ sauce, Dorito-crusted mac & cheese, taco pizzas, a cheddar & brisket grinder w/ mayo, and Bloomin' Onion Sliders sporting patties deep-fried in onion-batter, topped with bacon, Swiss, extra onions, and do you seriously need to hear about more toppings on these goddam things??

And because what's more patriotic than sitting on a machine whose sole purpose is to not allow you to stay sitting on it, that mechanical bull's padded pit is decked in the red, white, and blue -- a risky move, but after those sliders, it's likely the only thing you'll ride all night.