Eat Cook fish in a toaster, without looking like an idiot

If your timidity concerning kitchen experimentation is threatening to make you a permanent Batchelors, check out School of Food's new Crazy Cooking Methods class, where they'll bus a seasoned pro to your house armed with all the necessary raw ingredients & tech to teach you to "misuse and misappropriate" your kitchen equipment, except this time on purpose. Some of the convention-flaunting techniques:

Ghetto Sous Vide: A slow-cooking method favoured by high-end restos and molecular gastronomists -- using equipment that sets them back several grand -- this version costs almost nothing (bucket, Ziploc, thermometer), and allows you to, say, make a flavorsome-but-tough rump steak "more tender than a fillet mignon", though of course true victory would be making it "more Hit Me Baby One More Time than a fillet mignon".

Instant Ice Cream: Using just-sweetened cream and a tiny amount of inexpensive liquid nitrogen, you'll be shown how to prepare the Dessert of The Future in literally seconds, leaving the finished product crystal-free, just like the Premiership.

Cooking Without Heat: This focuses on the art of "acid-curing" fish, wherein it'll undergo the same chemical transformation as if it were blasted with heat, while remaining moist & succulent; the ceviche technique is "more common in the Americas, but very rare in Europe" -- impress a special friend with your mastery of it, and maybe "rare" will no longer describe experimentation with your Super Noodle.