Burger & Lobster The name is the menu

Trying to get something cheap in Mayfair usually means you're trying desperately hard to get fired by Alan Sugar, but that is just not the case with Burger & Lobster. Opening tomorrow by the man behind Goodman steakhouses, the wood- and red leather-filled space achieves his vision of "affordable whole, fresh lobster" via the capital's biggest tank (try harder, London Zoo), which is filled with literally hundreds of clawed beasts imported live in saltwater from Canada less than 24hrs prior.

There really is no menu: you can either get a whole lobster for just £20, or their famed Goodman meatwich, up-sized to a massive 280 grams of secret-recipe chuck/sirloin, and sandwiched between a daily baked, housemade brioche; both dishes are served on a silver platter, thus making the now-horseless Ranger truly lone. Well, except for Tonto.

The long, crooked bar stays on the cheap side, with a bottle of Champagne for around £20, plus £7.50 cocktails (made to exactitude with syringes & electronic pipettes) that revolve around the dishes themselves. Beefy libations include the red wine & whiskey Bull & Bear and the port/cider Hamilton Cleek, whilst lobster 'tails see lighter numbers like the Reisling Smash (dried apricots re-hydrated in white wine, then muddled in ginseng spirit) and the Calvados & sage syrup Angels Fall, or what happens when even more important beings than Sugar say "You're fired!"