Even though Ari blew our chances of getting a football team anytime soon, stave off depression by punching E in his trachea, then stress-eating one or all of these delicious, super-simple-to-make recipes:
Pulled Bacon Sliders
From Erin Eastland, Cube
Jerry O'Connell and the fat dude with the beard will be powerless to stop themselves from jumping into these delicious mini-sandwiches made with an entire uncut slab of bacon cooked in a mixture of beer, BBQ sauce, and maple syrup. So maybe lock the door to your kitchen.
Homemade Kettle Chips with Bacon-Cheese Sauce
From Govind Armstrong, Post & Beam
These chips are extra crisp thanks to being deep-fried twice, extra delicious thanks to being covered in a cheesy piggy mess, and all come via the Post & Beam dude, who is more known for his days on Iron Chef than the less popular Niacin version.
Honey Garlic Soy Balsamic Chicken Wings
From Ben Bailly, Cliff's Edge
Like Chauncey did for the Clippers, this James Beard-nominated chef helps you up your wing game with
a silky three-point stroke and an extremely angular bald head the aforementioned ingredients helping to create a sweet/savory coating on your chicken.