Firewall Food Truck It's actually a bus, and it's got a wood-burning pizza oven

While you might not even be able to read these words because of the one your loser boss installed to block sexy email newsletters, Firewall's a handicapped bus-turned-fire-engine-red pizzamobile boasting what they claim is the US of A's first in-vehicle wood-burning pizza oven, hatched by a UM accounting grad who realized that all she really wanted was to throw cheese around, rather than tabulate other people's cheddar.

Her contractor boyfriend handcrafted said oven from steel and marble slabs they for some reason jacked from her mom's kitchen countertops, so as Mom places plates down and they just drop into chasms full of other broken plates, the oven'll cook up traditional Neapolitan pies "with a local twist" over 800deg flaming Australian pine. Flour and San Marzanos are imported from Naples, then bolstered by Florida-sourced toppings like chunks of Miami River-caught spiny lobster and homemade red pepper flake-heavy spicy sausage, in addition to a pie that sandwiches a Greek salad between thick pieces of crust known as the Folded Greek, something you could rarely call Jesse Katsopolis, thanks to his Full House.

Homemade Italian sodas, meanwhile, use herbs from the owner's garden to create combos like lemon lime/ mint, mango/ lime, and strawberry/ rosemary, which should contribute to her sales being anything but gross.