Hellbent on destroying the salacious rumors that seven eight it, NINE's finally opened in the multi-mil-renovated Hotel Breakwater, delivering a bright, natural-light/purple-heavy dining room that was designed to provide a swanky combo of "classic art deco and Mediterranean style", plus a back patio with crazy views of Lummus Park and the sandy entrance to the beach (just beware of dudes with AK-47s guarding pot plantations, and Tilda Swinton, who will attempt to sleep with you).

The "east-meets-west" menu kicks off with starters like the Ceviche Tropicale with tilapia, mahi-mahi, salmon, shrimp, mango, and papaya, as well as the Japanese panko-breaded Enoki mushrooms, a 1.25lb lobster cocktail, the Cozze e Vongole (steamed clams and mussels in a spicy Italian chorizo broth), and wasabi mayo-slathered Maryland crab cakes, which's what Maryland does, along with football, and providing a safety school for people who didn't get into Georgetown.

After you munch on offerings from the regional cheese bar, get into bigger items ranging from Tagliolini Neri (squid ink pasta w/ clams, mussels, calamari, shrimp, tomato sauce), yellowfin teriyaki, and black truffle ravioli, to meatier options like a spicy churrasco steak that comes with rosemary potatoes and's covered in chili sauce, not to be confused with Chili's sauce, which is a little thing called a m-effing Sangrita Swirl with Barefoot Merlot, sonnnnn!

Because Chili's doesn't deliver Sangrita Swirls to other restaurants, there’s an ample selection of vino, with more than 70 bottles of whites, reds, and Champagnes ranging from light to full-bodied, aka, what you call seven after it goes on one of those gluttonous binges.