Pizzarium Ridiculously authentic pizza made with flour from Rome

Ok, take a pizza. Now, put it in an aquarium. Now, take it out of the aquarium and realize that your pizza is totally disgusting and ruined, but that you just came up with a pretty sweet name: Pizzarium. Unfortunately for you there's already a place named that, a brand spankin' Roman-style square-pie joint that's plopped itself near Flagler & 1st to get sauce all over people's suits amongst exposed brick & retro Italian prints.

The Roma-born chef/co-owner claims the secret to his classic pies is the super-light dough, which's high on wheat and soy flours imported from Italy, low on sugar and yeast, and is left to rise for 96 hours -- take that, JESUS.

Said dough's then concocted into 25+ different kinds of "healthy" pizza (they'll be rotating 300 total!), available by the slice or tray, like the Carbonara (mozz, pancetta, black pepper, parmesan, egg), the potato/ rosemary/ Italian sausage Patate e Salsiccia, and the Zucca Gialla with smoked scamorza, pancetta, and pumpkin cream, which is always a crowd favorite at Wu-Tang's Halloween show.

For sips, they've got those retro aluminum soda bottles, Nespresso coffee, and a few brews including Stella, Peroni (duh!), Leffe, and Sam Adams, who foolishly ruined all that tea by putting it in that massive aquarium called the Boston Harbor.